LexiYoga

Sex as Filler

Written by Christopher Oliphant.

Many people feel empty. It may be expressed as boredom, loneliness or just a sense that nothing has any meaning or purpose. Some are acutely aware of these feelings, while some keep them pushed down. There are many ways to try and fill this emptiness, although it is like trying to fill the dessert with water; it works for a little while then quickly passes. One of the ways to try and fill the emptiness is through sexual expression.

couple having sex

Sex as Filler people are likely to need a lot of sex, especially when other areas of their life are slow or dry. They bring a certain sense of desperateness to their sexual expression. This stems from their need to avoid the unpleasant feelings that sit at the base of their life. These lovers may be selfish ones, merely taking their release, or may be sophisticated, skilled lovers; able to draw out the love making to give them maximum relief from the times of emptiness. Monogamy may be difficult with this kind of people as filling the emptiness is the need and it matters less who fills that need, although they may choose to work out their needs through a single relationship. If they do decide on a single relationship, they will often have other distractions for times when sexuality is not sufficient.

These people are often spiritual. The spiritual journey is seen as another way to fill the empty feelings inside. They may take up Tantra to learn new sexual skills and to justify their ever-present need for sex and to spiritualize their sexuality. ( Not all who practice Tantra are Sex as Filler people.)

As Sex as Filler person who decides on a period of celibacy, will have the same struggles as an addict not using their drug of choice. It will be a time of feeling the underlying feelings of emptiness that they have worked so hard and for so long keeping them at bay.

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